Okay, kiddos, buckle down for this one because this is a particularly crazy special. Now, depending on how this goes, the following entries will either be all Boston-centric, or a mix of Boston and NYC-centric entries. As of me writing this paragraph (& the next three following), I don’t know. That being, I will have either ridden a plane successfully for the first time ever, or I will have been arrested by TSA police and have been through a traumatically undignifying experience, by the time I finish this entry. With that in mind, let’s begin this ordeal.
It all started, when Miranda (the same one that came with me to Christopher St. last August!) bribed me with $60 to take a plane, back in October. Surprisingly, she was not joking, and was serious. And, yes, she followed through. So, I booked a plane, and by god was it a bad start.
The booking process apparently REQUIRED me to gender myself incorrectly (no X option – to match what was on both my passport and Rhode Island state ID), and I fell back on “F”. Do I pass well enough? Probably not. But, whatever. Everything else is smooth-ish sailing until I get to the end. But, I was still panicking. By the time I got to the end, it asked for things I didn’t know what the hell they were. What the fuck is a “Known Traveler Number”? I don’t know, and I hope to god leaving it blank (per Brooke’s warning) isn’t going to get me in trouble – even though I have a bad feeling doing so is a bad idea. But whatever. It let me proceed, I paid up the $54 or so, and I had …a confirmation email.
What? Just a confirmation? No e-ticket?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! Hell, it didn’t even tell me what my seat was! THAT’S RIGHT – THOSE BASTARDS ARE SO MONEY HUNGRY THEY EVEN DEMAND YOU MONEY JUST SO THEY CAN ASSIGN YOU A SEAT. So, I said fuck it, paid $10 for seat 8A (after everyone insisting seating doesn’t matter and it is not, in fact, scenic), and went on my way. But, I STILL DON’T HAVE AN E-TICKET. IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS AS OF WRITING THIS PARAGRAPH, ALMOST, AND I DON’T HAVE ONE STILL – JUST A GODDAMN CONFIRMATION. And, for you plane foamers out there, you can track my plane with it being plane #E190 out of Boston’s Logan Airport. Have fun with that! In fact, this is also the first time I’ve ridden the SL1 for any semblance of a legitimate reason. Neat! Either way, so far, this is quite the sour start. For comparison, Amtrak just has you fill out info, no weird “Known Traveler” number or anything – you pick if you want coach or business, you’re assigned a seat (or told it’s first come first serve – this is how coach class on the Regional, and I presume many other trains, work) and you get your e-ticket right then and there.
2025-01-24 – The Preliminary Scoping
So, to get a feel for what I’m doing, in anticipation of being here in a melantonin-fueled daze, I decided to come by. So, I hop on the SL1 and get off at Terminal A. Of course, I wander around the terminal, figure out how to do inter-terminal transfers as needed, and generally get a lay of the land. And, by god, is Logan Airport pretty freakin’ big. I walk by Terminal B, find that it’s …two in one???? Yeah, this was confusing me. Looking through the outer areas of the terminals, there’s customer service desks, what looks like baggage claims, bubblers, convenience stores, three Dunkies, and several security lines. Admittedly, at face value, I’m more scared now because I really hope I don’t get in the wrong line. I must also admit, a lot of the airport is a freakin’ liminal space, and there’s also a lot of seemingly fishy-looking offices. Surprisingly, though, Terminal A was a madhouse yet B was basically dead, and C was also largely dead. Overall, nothing too bad.
2025-02-09 – “Check in”
I don’t know what the fuck a check in is, but I was asked to do that. So, I asked if it was bad and was told no, and confirmed “yes, despite pouring $65 into this, I am still using a plane.” It also asked me for seat selection (why?), extra bags, and …priority security??? I wasn’t an ADA passenger, so I didn’t need priority screening. After this, it actually beget me MY TICKET?!
2025-02-10 – The Big Day
Okay, so Feb. 10th rolled around, seemingly taking an eternity, and it was the big day. Woke up at 2:30, Ubered to Providence, and took the first train of the morning out. All was normal until, of course, in typical fashion whenever I go to NYC, something goes horrifically wrong and I narrowly avoid trouble. In this case, I avoided a derailment in the Readville yard that caused issues galore. I was able to take the Silver Line out to Logan Airport easily. I forgot where to get off so I just defaulted to Terminal B as a failsafe, got off, looked at the rather easy to find wayfinding and found I had to go to C. Surprisingly, here, I also discovered that Massport has countdown clocks for both the SL1 and their own shuttles. Neat! So, I hauled my ass over to Term. C, and printed out my ticket. FINALLY, they let me print it out. I’m not sure why I couldn’t print it out on Jan. 24th, but whatever. I got this, and then the first of two major problem points that could potentially derail everything: the TSA. I didn’t know what I was doing going into this, and there were multiple lines. But, thankfully, the TSA agent was ushering people in and pointed me to the right line (even if I was still nervous that I did not, in fact, get in the right line as it was completely unmarked). I confirmed everything they were saying, did as needed, and was on my way. Surprisingly, it was quick, and the TSA agents were….actually helpful in making sure I was doing the right thing. I know, ACAB and all that, and I still hold on to that principle, but recognition to people being helpful is an important thing too. With that, shoutout to the TSA agents at Logan for actually being helpful and professional. But, still, ACAB. Unfortunately, the problem point was actually something I did NOT anticipate.
I lost my ID somewhere!
Yeah, THAT was bad. But, after conferring with Brooke on what to do, and asking a TSA agent at the center of security, I actually managed to recover it as someone turned it in. Thank you, person who turned it in!
So, after this, I decided to explore the terminal a bit. There were a number of restaurants, shops, and even a couple of Dunks! Sadly, I couldn’t mobile order any Dunks here, so I had to forego it. But, I did find a gender-neutral restroom as I had to piss, and it was clean and spacious. Neat. Also, the sunrises out here are actually kinda nice, in a way. Personally, however, I’d rather my sunsets over the ocean in southern Connecticut. It was a long couple hours, but eventually 8:15 rolled around, I found the platform, and boarding began. The process was a bit weird. Of course, people with accessibility needs boarded first. That much was normal and expected and it’s generally courteous. After that were business class passengers. Lastly, I guess, would’ve been the remaining what are called “groups”. Why, coach class passengers have to be divided is beyond me and it makes little sense. But, instead, the agent just told everyone else to board, probably because the plane was far from sold out. And, I was finally on a plane. First time ever, in my life.
So, once I boarded, I noticed a few things. The seats were…..actually kinda comfy? I mean, it’s better than the Commuter Rail, but it’s still no Amfleet or Acela I seat. Trays were considerably smaller than on Amtrak. The screen was a bit hard to see. Also, only a 4:3 ratio? Holy SHIT that’s old. At that point, just have a CRT television. The windows were tiny too. While many transit advocates like to give shit to U.S. rolling stock for “unusually small windows you can’t see out of”, I don’t see any of them batting an eye at things like the B6 classes or whatever. There were a seatbelt too, and that’s there for a REALLY GOOD REASON. Lastly, there was a toilet in the back. I didn’t use it, but I heard it’s tiny. And, if that’s the case, it’s PROBABLY A GOOD THING I didn’t need to use the shitter. Legroom, surprisingly, was very liberal too. Again, it’s no Amtrak coach class, but it was pretty damn close seemingly. Overall, not bad! I’m genuinely impressed on this.
Of course, after moseying around the runway for a good 15-20 minutes, something amazing happened.
We WENT AIRBORN! WOAH! I looked down, actually in awe, “woah”, this……..was something. It’s like someone coded the world as a Mode 7 Super NES game. For those reading that don’t know what mode 7 is on the Super NES, the best example of it is Super Mario Kart, so I suggest looking at gameplay of that game. But, it felt like a rollercoaster and getting a boosted start in Mario Kart. I actually got a bit of a headache, which nobody warned me about. So, that sucked. Also annoyingly, turns out planes are faraday cages. No cell service whatsoever! I think top speed was around 300 miles an hour or something, and for you plane foamers, we were at about 2 miles up the entire time. It, however, was not exactly scenic as I couldn’t discern anything clearly. Cafe service was…..anemic, with an option of either water or coffee, and plantain chips or a granola bar. I opted for water and a granola bar, naturally. I would’ve personally preferred a self-serve option here, though, so I could get something at my leisurely pace without worrying if I need something later. Annoyed by the fact I was in a faraday cage, I tried using the wifi, which…….just didn’t work. Oh well. We eventually came in onto Laguardia Airport, which required going in a 270 degree circle around the city and into New Jersey briefly, rapidly descending, into a very rough landing. I’m not sure if this is because the operator is new or what, but they really oughta be better. Overall though, not bad for a first plane trip.
Overall, would I do this again? Actually, probably, depending on how I feel. But, as someone who’s Amtrak-first, it’d be a hard sell to move me out of an Amfleet coach seat. But, if I could be sufficiently convinced with a similar or lesser price tag or otherwise convinced it’s more convenient than just hopping onto a train, I’d consider this again. Now, allegedly, Precheck for the TSA is a thing and adds to the “convenience” factor, however that costs …$80, I think? for something that’s single-use, as far as I can tell. Not sure if it’s worth it, but I’d have to keep that in mind. There’s also this thing called Clear, but I don’t know anyone who’s used it. Now, I also don’t know what the differences between each individual carrier is, but not knowing any of that doesn’t help the confusion factor in the booking process. How do I know which carrier is best for a particular route? Ya know, maybe I might just do an entry on each individual major US-based carrier.
Now, for you the reader? I can’t give a simple “yes” or “no” to “should you do this?”. And, ultimately, that’s because I’m not you. Only you know your needs best. I can give information on what it’s like in my personal experiences, but my experiences and yours will differ, as will what I’m looking for in an S-tier carrier (essentially, a very Amtrak-esque experience). And, plus, maybe you (the reader) value something that I don’t give many hoots about. I personally value being able to take in the scenery and walk around, and oftentimes like the slower pace of Amtrak (even on the NEC!), and for my needs Amtrak also oftentimes is considerably cheaper. But, if I had to answer “would I recommend JetBlue?”, I’d actually say “yes” to that because the experience surprisingly, while far from perfect, is a little familiar vs. the Amtrak experience I know and love. And, with that, thanks for reading.
