Ah, golly, a SEPTA bus route review! Well, Honaj dragged me all the way to the Bells Corner bus loop at Castor & Bustleton Avenues, after taking a ride down the Fox Chase Line (entry on Fox Chase Station coming at some point!), going to a Wawa (THE HOLY LAND), and a quick ride to Castor & Rhawn, and we got off and walked the half-mile to the Bells Corner Loop. Wait a second, what the hell?!
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. DAMN YOU, HONAJ!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU LEAD ME RIGHT INTO A TRAP?! NOT THE GODDAMN TROLLEYBUSES!!!!!!!!!
HONAJ: “TROLLEYBUS! TROLLEYBUS! TROLLEYBUS!!!”
ME: *stares in horror*
*sighs, blinks twice for help*
Okay, okay, I guess I have to answer the call of duty here with these shit buses. Well, rather than being garbage Neoplans, at least we have….let’s see…..New Flyer E40LFRs. Well, maybe New Flyer actually knew what they were doing. The buses…….were largely dead silent, even moreso than RIPTA’s BEBs (which were already pretty much dead silent to begin with!!!), these suckers REALLY took off when given a chain of green lights and negligible requested stops/boardings (which is not too common seemingly given the REALLY, REALLY TIGHT stop spacing on SEPTA – every single block!), and furthermore it……….actually didn’t crawl like absolute dogshite. But, before I continue, I have to review the route itself.
The 59 originates at the Bells Corner bus loop, at Castor & Bustleton Avenues, and is largely a straight shot down Castor Avenue. Running through northeastern Philadelphia, it goes through the Rhawnhurst and Oxford Circle, before negotiating the rather oversized rotary bisected by U.S. Route 1 (Roosevelt Boulevard locally), and going down Oxford Avenue. Ultimately, the route then terminates rather unceremoniously at the Arrott Transit Center, with the interchange to the L (aka the MFL, Market-Frankford Line, or if you’re weird the Blue Line – this blog will be calling it the L as that’s what SEPTA calls it nowadays). Overall, in terms of scenery, there’s really not a lot exciting going on other than Roosevelt Boulevard. In terms of vibes, though these neighborhoods, I get some Boston vibes, some south Providence vibes, but ultimately I really couldn’t pin anything specific down – Philly is kinda its own thing vibe-wise. In terms of headways, it’s about every 20 minutes for much of the day offpeak, with weekend and night service being half hourly to every 40 minutes (it is not a 24 hour route). Overall, not bad!
The good: It serves a rather dense (if not highrise-ridden) neighborhood! The buses themselves, too! (I’ll elaborate soon) The headways are also okay, for weekday service! It’s also got connections to the L via Arrott!
The bad: Weekend headways could be better. The bus loop terminus does seem kinda weird at face value too, but I’ll save rambling on about that for the entry specifically for Bells Corner (whenever that comes out)
Nearby points of interest: Bells Corner has a shopping center nearby, there’s a Wawa, a few schools and churches along the route, a LOT of housing, and a decent amount of local businesses lining both Castor and Oxford Avenues
Overall, not a bad route!!!
Rating: 8/10
Wait, wait, wait just a hot flippin’ moment…
did……did I find a GOOD piece of trolleybus equipment?! You mean to tell me it’s NOT utter and complete dogshit, is pretty much silent, and actually isn’t horrifically slow?! And my life was a lie!!! Or, at the least, my life was all in misguided anger?! IT’S NOT SHIT?! IT’S NOT SHIT! IT’S NOOOOOOOOT SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!! Y’ALL FOOLED THE PUBLIC AND TOLD THEM TROLLEYBUSES COULDN’T BE GOOD AS THE WAY OF THE FUTURE, MR. STEVE POFTAK!!! YOUR LEADERSHIP LED THE FREAKIN’ MBTA DOWN THE WRONG PIPELINE, WHY WOULD YOU REPLACE SOMETHING THAT WAS PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL AND VERY MUCH NOT GARBAGE WITH SPARKY SPARKY BOOM MACHINES?! WHAT WERE Y’ALL SMOKING?! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO MISLEAD PUBLIC OPINION AND THE OPINIONS OF EXECS TOWARDS “let’s dismantle them trolleybuses!!!”?! YA KNOW, MAYBE IF YOU NEED AN EXEMPTION TO BUY AMERICA, THAT’S A BAD SIGN, TO PUT IT LIGHTLY! And with that, I am hereby proposing “throw them wires up at Logan Airport, the Seaport, and in the Chelsea busway – and do NOT let Neoplan rise from the dead to do the deed”
I guess…….my disdain for trolleybuses, should’ve been more “fuck Neoplan” in particular and was horrifically misguided. I hereby retract all the ranting about how garbage they were, in the Harvard Square blog entry. Although, I’ll still keep it and not edit it for old time’s sake and in the name of keeping it as a museum piece of a bygone era of the Chelsea’s Corner blog.
*cries in a corner realizing all the hate for trolleybuses since the birth of this blog is actually all misguided and should’ve been directed towards Neoplan instead*
