Port Chester (Metro-North)

Ain’t no way, I’m reviewing a station in NEW YORK?!

Yep, and it’s only the first out of…. *counts on fingers* 21, I think? And four of those don’t even exist yet. Nevertheless, welcome to New York, here’s Port Chester.

The tracks
An M8 at the station!
We uhhh, got a little bold there, I guess.

So, first thing is there’s an elevator on the Stamford side (sorry, no local to New Haven!) and a ramp to the Grand Central side. So, of course, I did the piss test (that is, ride to see if the elevator reeks of urine), and to my surprise it passed! Way to go, Port Chester!!! Furthermore, there’s heated waiting areas on the platforms, fare vending machines on both sides, departure boards that actually LIST intermediate stations, and announcements! Woah, this is REALLY nice. And, it’s got parking, Bee Line connections, and (if you walk a little), a CTtransit connection! Holy crap!

The departure board. Fancy!
Towards Stamford!
Fare vending machines!
Parking and some local stuff
Acela ain’t fast.
Express train!

Just be ready to hear “Attention customers! Please step back from the edge of the platform! Standing on or near the yellow edge strip is dangerous! Stand back; be safe! [END BEEP]” every few minutes when a train expresses through. Would a simple “TRAIN APPROACHING, PLEASE REMAIN BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE!” like on the NEC north of State Street have sufficed instead? Who knows.

Next to arrive on track 4!
A meet!
Parking on the Stamford side
And away I go!

The good: It’s in a dense area! I mean, it’s dense as far as suburban areas go, and it feels like a small city in its own right. Plus, there’s all sorts of shopping nearby.

The bad: I mean, the fact Bee Line and CTtransit don’t deviate into the station is a bit annoying, and I do have to ask if the amount of parking is excessive.

Nearby points of interest: The many small shops nearby, the Waterfront at Port Chester (a mall), and there’s a few theaters nearby too!

Transit connections:
Metro-North (New Haven)
CTtransit (311)
Bee-Line (13, 61)

Overall, this place is probably the best of the bunch for stations exclusively served by Metro-North and not Amtrak. Like, it’s got everything to not just be passable, but also an actually decent place to wait at. Sure, it’d suck to be stranded, but at least you can wait in relative comfort.

Rating: 9/10

311 (Greenwich/Port Chester)

Alrighty, so the first of two CTtransit entries! Let’s check out the only regular bus service Greenwich has throughout the day. And…..

*looks at route map*

Oh no. No, not New York…..

It’s a bus, but not mine!

So, at the McKinney TC (Stamford MNRR), we board a bendy bus under I-95 and the bus is already pretty full. Damn, good thing we have a bendy bus to work with! So, off to the races we are, and down Route 1 we go! So, of course, it gets very suburban really fast. However, hints of urbanization and density still exists, as there’s a mix of apartment complexes and single family housing in sight. We even pass a ShopRite and a Stop & Shop, and quickly enough we’re in Greenwich. Yay!

Downtown Stamford!
Dirty window!
Finger lickin’ good! …if you want bowel issues, that is.
Apartment complexes!
More buildings!
I don’t know why the bus stop there, but whatever.
Apparently there’s an ACME in this plaza. Don’t tell Wile E. Coyote!

So, as we progressed down US-1, we pass several office buildings and whatnot. There’s also several churches, a school, Interstate 95, and the Mianus River to be seen here. It’s all pretty much suburban, and after we passed the high school, it started to look a little more walkable. However, it was still car-centric as parking existed on both sides of the street. Boo….. But, we deviated! Wooo! Deviation to Greenwich’s Metro-North station! Yay! And, it was here where the 311 splits into two. One variant goes up Field Point Road and follows US-1. However, I was on a B variant route, which continues down Hamilton Avenue. It pretty much felt like a residential side-street, if anything, and it felt weird snaking under the Northeast Corridor in a 60 foot bendy bus, to be quite honest. From here, we’d be crossing under I-95 and closing in on the New York border in an increasingly urban area.

Wooo, offices!
The mighty Mianus River
Low-ish density!
Cos Cob School!
Seems like a small New England town.
I don’t remember what this was.
Woooo, deviation!
Residential neighborhood!
Woo, more offices!
Rich NIMBYs, probably
The Northeast Corridor!
The last bit of Connecticut!

And then I fizzled out of existence entirely upon entering New York!!! The end!

…nah, I’m just messing with you (the reader). What happened was we entered Port Chester, passed what can be described as an old industrial area (I think?), and we made it to the general area of the train station. Yay!

The Byram River, forming the state line!
Yeah, this is New York.
I spy the Northeast Corridor!
See ya!

The good: Well, it definitely serves a lot! It goes into freakin’ New York, for crying out loud! It’s also the only regular bus service through Greenwich, not counting the I-BUS or the Norwalk WHEELS-operated commuter shuttle. This probably plays into why it’s got high ridership and why it uses a 60ft bendy bus.

The bad: Two branches? Really? And with that it also means headways are WORSE on the branches, with upwards of bi-hourly on weekends! Darn it, CTtransit!

Nearby points of interest: Well, you got a shopping center in Port Chester, and a few parks in Greenwich (not counting office parks!). Also, the shopping on Railroad and near Greenwich Avenues.

Overall, it’s a decent route, it gets the job done, and serves a lot of people with where it serves. I’m also thankful I didn’t vaporize into thin air.

Rating: 7.5/10

FOOD REVIEW: Great Value Beef Taquitos

What, no transit-oriented entry for today? Yeah, sorry, I’m holding out until the Green Line Extension to Medford opens. However, that aside, let’s look at some food, shall we?

Nuking the food

So, the food itself is tasty, and kinda soft. It’s got the taste you’d expect from taquitos, so it’s not disappointing or anything like that. For $4 and change, you can’t go wrong (if you’re not banned from your local WAL*MART, that is). However, I would strongly recommend baking or air frying over microwaving. So, with that in mind, how would I rate this?

Easy. 7/10 if you nuke it, 10/10 if you bake it in the oven or an air fryer.

The goods

Foamer shots!

Shots of trains and whatnot! (this WILL grow as I do more entries and should I decide to go back and foam at other places)

Kingston Station (RI)


WARNING: reader’s discretion is advised. I don’t even know what this translates to.

FROM: x9nw8r
DATE: 9/10/22
POST: 9x (Pascoag/Chepachet)

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The Simmonsville Shuttle

Oh boy, another shuttle service from RIPTA! Now, like the Walmart shuttle I touched on, it’s limited service. However, this one runs Mondays-Fridays, instead of just Thursdays.

The routing

This route is very straightforward, compared to the Walmart shuttle. It goes from Walmart to Simmonsville Village. When does the bus leave either end? 9:15 and 2:15 for Simmonsville, and 9:27, 2:00, and 2:27 for Walmart. Mind you, it’s not exactly “walkable” to get to Walmart from Simmonsville, or to Atwood Avenue. Like yeah, sidewalks exist, but if you’re trying to get to Simmonsville via RIPTA at any other time (e.g. the night, say you work 9-5), or the other way around, good luck. Atwood Ave. doesn’t have any bus service, and the nearest bus stop I can find is just outside the McDonald’s in the Walmart plaza. This involves crossing not just Plainfield Pike, but also possibly a freeway interchange and a busy plaza access road too. Hell, it used to be a deviation for the 19 back when the 19 tried to be an Atwood Ave. crosstown, why isn’t there an Atwood Ave. crosstown route doing the same job now, but with the Walmart deviation?!

The good: It serves Simmonsville, I guess.

The bad: Service is very limited, in an unwalkable area. Please, Picerne, or the Town of Johnston, take this thing off RIPTA’s hands! Or, RIPTA, please make this a deviation for an Atwood Ave. crosstown route! Hell, add Walmart to the deviation to make it worthwhile. Basically, anything to give this regular service. Lastly, why is this numbered as route 16, when there’s literally a route 16 expected to go into service later this month (June’22)?!

Routing like this, perhaps? It’s a bit long, though…

Nearby points of interest: A bunch of old people, I guess.

Overall, just, just no. I mean, I’m sure there’s someone who uses it, but not everyone has errands that they can leave at 9AM for, and be back at Walmart by 2:27. Plus, I’m sure RIPTA has financial incentives to ditch this entirely. The worst part is, for everyone who uses it it’s a lifeline to the outside world.

Rating: 10/10 for the concept, 2/10 for the execution.